Tuesday, September 3, 2013

...and they called him The Streak

Around 1973 a streaking epidemic broke out.  I heard of folks taking off their clothes and running around in public places.  It was in the news, in comedy routines, and in the streets.  Though I never witnessed it in person, thankfully, it was said to have been happening everywhere.

It still happens today, usually on college campuses and sporting events.  I never understood it.  Streaking has been around for quite sometime.  I heard that Adam and Eve used to do it before The Fall.

"The first recorded incident of streaking by a college student in the United States occurred in 1804 at Washington College (now Washington and Lee University) when senior George William Crumb was arrested for running nude through Lexington, Virginia, where the university is located.  Robert E. Lee later sanctioned streaking as a rite of passage for young Washington and Lee gentlemen.  Crumb was suspended for the academic session, but later went on to become a U.S. Congressman."


I'd never heard of streaking until the early seventies, via Ray Stevens and his song The Streak.  Brook and I were in our room listening to a local AM station on the transistor radio. We laughed and laughed.

A Robert Opel achieved the ultimate streaker fame when he slipped backstage of the 1974 Academy Awards and slipped out of his clothes.  He then trotted his taters out on national TV, behind David Niven was introducing Elizabeth Taylor.  Opel flashed a peace sign as he ran behind Niven and in front of the world.

Niven remarked, "Well, ladies and gentlemen, that was almost bound to happen.  But isn't it fascinating to think that probably the only laugh that man will ever get in his life is by stripping off and showing his shortcomings?"

It's now believed that this famous streaking incident was staged and that Niven's clever quip was previously prepared.

I was just a kid, and only heard about it.  Mother did tell me that I was a streaker in my early childhood.  She said that there was this time I didn't want to take a bath and had escaped.  She heard news that her son was riding his tricycle around the neighborhood in his birthday suit.

I don't think streaking should be allowed, because most people don't look good naked.  Naked people as a whole are offensive to behold.  Why every morning when I step out of the shower, I try to avoid looking toward the mirror.  I find myself nakedness highly offensive.  Thank goodness for foggy mirrors...I'd probably faint.  No way would I take this show on the road.

Even celebrities in magazines need lots of body make-up and PhotoShop. 

I especially don't think folks in Alabama should streak.  Alabama ranks the highest in obesity.  Chubby-running isn't pretty.  I imagine naked chubby-running is shocking to see.  The upside to obese people running is that cops could grab'em easier.  Now that would be a funny site to see.

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