Through out the year, I would glance outside the large steel framed windows every chance I got. Outside where the grass was green and the sky so blue. The birds and all God's little creatures were always free but me. The outside burned with vibrant colors. The inside was dark, drab and ever bleak. My soul was in captivity. I can't tell you how many times I just wanted to slip out that heavy door at the end of the hall and run away. I could make it home from here. Sure it would take me an hour or so, but I could get there. I wanted to be free!
The last days were always my favorite days. It was a three month reprieve. Summer meant not being reminded daily of ever trying and ever failing. Summer meant not having to walk quietly in single file, or fear certain teachers. What a terrible world. The last days meant I could go home to friendlier faces. Home meant freedom, riding my bike with my dog Emma racing beside me. Disappearing in the woods, climbing rocks, and not think about all my academic shortcomings.
My children are down to their countdown till Summertime. I am always reminded of those old feelings. The last days meant counting down the moments. The daily tension let up as children were allowed to enjoy a longer recess, more time to draw or play board games on the floor at the back of the classroom. I usually kept to drawing or looking out the window thinking of that blessed moment.
Usually there was a little party. A teacher would bring store bought sugar cookies or cupcakes for the children - swallowed down by Hawaiian Punch or Kool-Aid. I'm sure that school would have been more tolerable if the teachers had done that more often. I don't know many kids who liked going to school - I hated it.
I don't know if any other kid felt like I did...how I wished that big clock on the wall would hurry up. I believe school clocks are made to run slower just to torture you.
6 comments:
That captures the essence of my school experience also. Staring at the BIG clock. Wanting to escape to freedom. I just had trouble having that long of an attention span. I don't know the answer. Maybe inserting more fun activities would help. You can learn and have fun at the same time. Sometimes it seems that they think if you are "having a good time" that it is a bad thing.
Learning + fun = happiness!
I had a horrible school experience from the time I left Walnut Park and entered General Forrest. I have always wondered if I would have been better off going on to Sansom but I transferred to West End. The kids were a little more laid back but I still just didn't like school and never fit in. Still, now some of my old friends from Sansom act like it just the best place on earth. The folks from West End are still more laid back and I know you can't go back. But,General Forrest was miserable for me and I just never really even tried to like school after that.
Sorry David I didn't mean to not put my name on my above post. This is Steve Snead. For some reason it has signed me in as anonymous.
David@Debbie: R.A. Mitchell was hell. It took me years to get over some of the negative stuff that happened there. It's a long story. I am grateful that my kids are having a good school experience.
David@Steve: General Forest wasn't a good experience for me either. At that time, there was a lot of racial tension. So a kid had to deal with the normal abnormal social issues whilst learning to deal with black rage. Another long story.
I know how you feel. After so much misery, you just never even try to like school after that.
I just didn't have a good experience going through the public school system.
General Forrest was like reform school. I loved Mitchell Satelite, but I had 1 really bad teacher there. Those last few days of school were my favorites, too!
From R.A. Mitchell to General Forrest...by the time I got to Emma Sansom I was damaged goods.
Life got a little better by the time I got to high school, but like Steve said, I had given up trying.
Word got back to me that I had been labeled by the entire faculty that I was illiterate. No I wasn't. I was a book worm at home. I just didn't give a rip about the books at school. Public education had successfully broken and defeated me.
I am grateful to God for eventually delivering and restoring that broken kid. I can't tell you how many times I've prayed over my children - prayed for protection during their school daze. He's a good God.
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