Wednesday, May 25, 2011

the last days

Most of you who know me know that I didn't have a pleasant public school experience.  Let me just say that my favorite days of school were always the last days of school.  For the most part, classwork, studying and testing had come to a halt.  We were now all over the hump, just biding our time.

Through out the year, I would glance outside the large steel framed windows every chance I got.  Outside where the grass was green and the sky so blue.  The birds and all God's little creatures were always free but me.  The outside burned with vibrant colors.
The inside was dark, drab and ever bleak.  My soul was in captivity.  I can't tell you how many times I just wanted to slip out that heavy door at the end of the hall and run away.  I could make it home from here.  Sure it would take me an hour or so, but I could get there.  I wanted to be free!

The last days were always my favorite days.  It was a three month reprieve.  Summer meant not being reminded daily of ever trying and ever failing.  Summer meant not having to walk quietly in single file, or fear certain teachers.  What a terrible world.  The last days meant I could go home to friendlier faces.  Home meant freedom, riding my bike with my dog Emma racing beside me.  Disappearing in the woods, climbing rocks, and not think about all my academic shortcomings.

My children are down to their countdown till Summertime.  I am always reminded of those old feelings. 
The last days meant counting down the moments.  The daily tension let up as children were allowed to enjoy a longer recess, more time to draw or play board games on the floor at the back of the classroom.  I usually kept to drawing or looking out the window thinking of that blessed moment.

Usually there was a little party.  A teacher would bring store bought sugar cookies or cupcakes for the children - swallowed down by Hawaiian Punch or Kool-Aid.  I'm sure that school would have been more tolerable if the teachers had done that more often. 
I don't know many kids who liked going to school - I hated it.

I don't know if any other kid felt like I I wished that big clock on the wall would hurry up.  I believe school clocks are made to run slower just to torture you.

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