|Emma Sansom High School|
I had no interest in band or sports. I ducked out of pep rallies and only went to one home game out of curiosity. I didn't care to go back. I never went to a school dance or a prom. I just couldn't for the life of me understand why anyone would want to go to school function when school wasn't in session.
I developed only a handful of relationships among my peers. I was in survival mode during my junior high and high school years. I tried to fly under the radar when in class. I counted the hours down until the end of each day. The best part of any given school day was the moment I could walk out the door.
Most of my free time during my high school years were spent with the gang at Christian Brothers Coffee House (aka: FREE House). I looked forward to hanging out at the coffeehouse on Saturday nights. It was the only place I was in my element. When I was at the coffeehouse ~ public school was a million miles away.
I had a teacher tell me in my senior year that most of my other teachers thought that I was illiterate. This teacher had been around me and had taken interest in me. He knew that I was an ardent reader. I read all the time. I enjoyed delving into scripture, books on theology and non-fiction about Christians like Andrew Murray and Corrie Ten Boom. I'm pretty sure I read everything Corrie ever wrote. I was an avid fan (and still today) of C.S. Lewis. My brother introduced me to J.R.R. Tolkien's world too.
At home, if I wasn't reading, I was learning to play guitar. I wanted to write songs, and I picked up my brother's Yamaha FG-180 and started learning chords. I was ever learning when I was away from school. I had a pretty good time off campus.I didn't attend graduation. To me, public education was serving time. I just wanted the jailer to pull out those keys of his, unlock and swing open those drab green doors. I liked my classmates, but I didn't seem to share the same fondness of that school experience. I got through school by the skin of my teeth. There was little that I could say that I accomplished. While they were all tossing their mortarboards into the sky, I was heading for the county line.
Public school was a hard experience for me. It was even harder when labels were attached. I know I'm a peculiar fellow. Through the years I've had plenty of labels attached to my back that I couldn't see ~ crueler than a 'kick me' sign. There was one label my 6th grade teacher gave me ~ she told me I was "stupid". That wounded me for years. I was at an age to believe that when grown-ups say something (especially a teacher) it must be true. I took it to heart and the curse got ingrained in my mind. I guess I allowed that label to clip my wings and taint my entire experience with schooling.
Confidence is a terrible thing to lose. It's hard to find in the dark.
Lost confidence is never easy to regain ~ there's always a challenge and a struggle.
NOTE: Not all posts here at Boomerville,USA are upbeat. Forgive me if I got a little dark on this one.